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Writer's pictureRabbi Alanna Sklover

"...I'm right up the road, I'll share your load, if you just call me."

This Shabbat is the week when every rabbi, Jewish teacher, and discussion leader is supposed to talk about the Ten Commandments. We're supposed to teach about the cacophonous experience of revelation during which the people assembled at the smoking Mount Sinai saw thunder and heard lightning and the sounds of horns blaring (Ex. 20:15) intermingled with the words of commandments. We are supposed to point out that God gives Moses specific instructions for how the Israelites should prepare for revelation, to which Moses makes a troubling addition (Ex. 19:15). We are supposed to delve into the commandments themselves in order to elucidate and parse the differences between "thou shalt not commit murder" and a general prohibition on killing or the intricacies of honoring one's parents (Ex. 20:12-13).


But, I am not going to talk about any of these things.


This week, I want to back up in the narrative. I want to invite us in to a moment in the story before the mountain begins smoking and rumbling, before the people assemble in anticipation of revelation, before the "third new moon after the Israelites had gone forth from the land of Egypt" even began to wane.


At the beginning of Parshat Yitro, the Torah teaches us not of the supernatural or extraordinary, but rather imparts a crucial life lesson: the importance of delegating.


Ok, let's break this down a bit. First of all, who is speaking to whom?


Jethro (Yitro, in Hebrew) is speaking to Moses, his son-in-law. Having just brought the Israelites out of Egypt less than 3 months prior, Moses is new to communal leadership; Yitro, on the other hand, is not. Yitro, the father of Moses's wife Tzipporah, is a high priest of Midian. When he sees his son-in-law attempting to adjudicate or address every individual concern brought by the Israelite community on his own, Yitro is understandably concerned for both Moses's personal and professional well-being.

 

וַיַּרְא֙ חֹתֵ֣ן מֹשֶׁ֔ה אֵ֛ת כָּל־אֲשֶׁר־ה֥וּא עֹשֶׂ֖ה לָעָ֑ם וַיֹּ֗אמֶר מָֽה־הַדָּבָ֤ר הַזֶּה֙ אֲשֶׁ֨ר אַתָּ֤ה עֹשֶׂה֙ לָעָ֔ם מַדּ֗וּעַ אַתָּ֤ה יוֹשֵׁב֙ לְבַדֶּ֔ךָ וְכָל־הָעָ֛ם נִצָּ֥ב עָלֶ֖יךָ מִן־בֹּ֥קֶר עַד־עָֽרֶב׃ וַיֹּ֥אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֖ה לְחֹתְנ֑וֹ כִּֽי־יָבֹ֥א אֵלַ֛י הָעָ֖ם לִדְרֹ֥שׁ אֱלֹהִֽים׃ כִּֽי־יִהְיֶ֨ה לָהֶ֤ם דָּבָר֙ בָּ֣א אֵלַ֔י וְשָׁ֣פַטְתִּ֔י בֵּ֥ין אִ֖ישׁ וּבֵ֣ין רֵעֵ֑הוּ וְהוֹדַעְתִּ֛י אֶת־חֻקֵּ֥י הָאֱלֹהִ֖ים וְאֶת־תּוֹרֹתָֽיו׃ וַיֹּ֛אמֶר חֹתֵ֥ן מֹשֶׁ֖ה אֵלָ֑יו לֹא־טוֹב֙ הַדָּבָ֔ר אֲשֶׁ֥ר אַתָּ֖ה עֹשֶֽׂה׃ נָבֹ֣ל תִּבֹּ֔ל גַּם־אַתָּ֕ה

When Moses’ father-in-law saw how much [Moses] had to do for the people, he said, “What is this thing that you are doing to the people? Why do you act alone, while all the people stand about you from morning until evening?” Moses replied to his father-in-law, “It is because the people come to me to inquire of God. When they have a dispute, it comes before me, and I decide between one person and another, and I make known the laws and teachings of God.” But Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “The thing you are doing is not right; you will surely wear yourself out...

 

But, then Yitro goes further. He tells Moses that his failure to delegate is not just problematic for him as an individual, but also for the people as a whole:

 

גַּם־הָעָ֥ם הַזֶּ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר עִמָּ֑ךְ כִּֽי־כָבֵ֤ד מִמְּךָ֙ הַדָּבָ֔ר לֹא־תוּכַ֥ל עֲשֹׂ֖הוּ לְבַדֶּֽךָ... וְאַתָּ֣ה תֶחֱזֶ֣ה מִכָּל־הָ֠עָם אַנְשֵׁי־חַ֜יִל יִרְאֵ֧י אֱלֹהִ֛ים אַנְשֵׁ֥י אֱמֶ֖ת שֹׂ֣נְאֵי בָ֑צַע וְשַׂמְתָּ֣ עֲלֵהֶ֗ם ... וְשָׁפְט֣וּ אֶת־הָעָם֮ בְּכָל־עֵת֒ וְהָיָ֞ה כָּל־הַדָּבָ֤ר הַגָּדֹל֙ יָבִ֣יאוּ אֵלֶ֔יךָ וְכָל־הַדָּבָ֥ר הַקָּטֹ֖ן יִשְׁפְּטוּ־הֵ֑ם וְהָקֵל֙ מֵֽעָלֶ֔יךָ וְנָשְׂא֖וּ אִתָּֽךְ׃ אִ֣ם אֶת־הַדָּבָ֤ר הַזֶּה֙ תַּעֲשֶׂ֔ה וְצִוְּךָ֣ אֱלֹהִ֔ים וְיָֽכָלְתָּ֖ עֲמֹ֑ד וְגַם֙ כָּל־הָעָ֣ם הַזֶּ֔ה עַל־מְקֹמ֖וֹ יָבֹ֥א בְשָׁלֽוֹם׃

...and [you will wear out] these people as well. For the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone… You shall also seek out from among all the people capable folks who fear God, trustworthy folks who spurn ill-gotten gain... and let them judge the people at all times. Have them bring every major dispute to you, but let them decide every minor dispute themselves. Make it easier for yourself by letting them share the burden with you.  If you do this—and God so commands you—you will be able to stand firm; and all these people too will go home unwearied.”

 

When Moses, or any of us, fall into the trap of doing it all ourselves, the burn-out is not only personal, but communal!


Why? Why would delegating tasks to others help the community? Isn't giving a person more to do burdensome? How does delegating make a community, in the Torah's words, less weary?


To this, my answer (and I thing Yitro's too) is trust. When we delegate a task to someone, we demonstrate that we value and trust them. We see that they are skilled and capable, and we also show that we are humble enough to seek their help and see that their help would add value to the process. This is a hugely important piece of relationship building and of the creation of communal culture. In the absence of delegation, whether at work or at home, whether around physical tasks or emotional labor, we build walls between ourselves and others - but when we delegate, we build bridges.

And so, as we move into this Shabbat, let us carry with us this lesson from Yitro - that delegating is good. It is healthy, both for the one delegating and the person being empowered with the task, and if it is a lesson that we all must both learn and internalize before we can even think about being ready to approach a moment of revelation.

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